scene with ~namedforhim.

[poeticforce]

They both knew it was bound to happen eventually. No matter how cautious they were, how careful they were, how much they tried to plan or restrain emotions or keep things 'normal' by sheer will alone. They both hated it (to varying extents, Poe would never claim to know exactly what the other man was thinking unless he told him) but it was necessary. Expectations weighed on both of them and there were dozens of reasons why this was a bad idea with potential to have ripples further than either of them could see.

And of course, it happened in the worst way.

He should have made sure the door was locked but after weeks apart thanks to a mission the last thing either of them were thinking about was security. Well, Poe might have, but when Anakin's lips were on his and hands yanking on his belt it was difficult to think about anything but the younger man. Neither of them heard the door, but they definitely heard the startled exclamation and dread chased away desire faster than Poe realized was possible as his eyes flew open to land upon Leia.

For a fleeting moment, he thought he'd almost rather deal with Kylo Ren again. Sure, why not. Even that had to be better than the disappointment -- and betrayal?? -- he swore he could see in her eyes.

Not fifteen minutes later the two of them were having it out in the briefing room, the glass only halfway muffling the argument and certainly doing nothing to hide it from those in mission control at the moment. His face was on fire, less from any embarrassment as from the hard slap that'd nearly made him stumble once he caught up to Leia. It felt like having a fight with his mom and Poe hated that. He hated every second of it. But damn it, they weren't doing anything wrong. His voice raised; this was one argument that he refused to back down from.

Then she had to go and blindside him. Throwing a mission at him that was out near Hutt Space, too dangerous for anyone else. It'd take him easily a week just to get out there and damn it, he'd just gotten back. But either he did his job or he was done. Not demoted, done. Poe was sure it was just emotion talking but that didn't stop the way his throat tightened or his eyes stung.

Fine. Fine. What choice did he have.

Anger and hurt were coiled in his gut, scalding and dark with energy that wasn't purely emotion. He stalked outside with helmet in hand but didn't immediately go to his ship. Flying angry was dangerous. He just needed a minute to try and clear his head, to try and not think about the fact Leia was sending him away because he was involved with her son. It wasn't fucking fair. None of this was.