Was this actually happening? He wasn't dreaming, right? Dreaming, drugged, having his mind rolled so he didn't know what was and wasn't real.
No, Poe could still feel adrenaline making his pulse pound in his ears, and he could definitely still hear the sounds of battle going on. So this was really happening. He was really... becoming a traitor? No, you're keeping the Resistance from being slaughtered again. You're protecting Leia. And a belated addition, You're looking out for your own interests for once.
He didn't realize he had become more tense until Kylo stopped to give the order and Poe felt some of the tension leave his back and shoulders. Even with those helmets blocking all signs of expression he swore he could feel the nearby troopers looking at them -- at him -- curiously or in confusion. Something he expected the few Resistance fighters above ground were doing too... and they would spread what they saw to everyone else. What would they say? What --
Nope, he was shutting that line of thought down. It didn't matter. What mattered right now was, well. Trying to fight his own urge to shoot at the trooopers they passed. That was going to be a tough instinct to shake. Poe took a breath and tried to just focus on where they were going. Mostly, he just focused on Kylo. The contact and the other man's presence were probably the only things keeping him any semblance of calm. After all, the last time anything remotely close to this had happened he was in cuffs and fully expecting a painful death.
no subject
No, Poe could still feel adrenaline making his pulse pound in his ears, and he could definitely still hear the sounds of battle going on. So this was really happening. He was really... becoming a traitor? No, you're keeping the Resistance from being slaughtered again. You're protecting Leia. And a belated addition, You're looking out for your own interests for once.
He didn't realize he had become more tense until Kylo stopped to give the order and Poe felt some of the tension leave his back and shoulders. Even with those helmets blocking all signs of expression he swore he could feel the nearby troopers looking at them -- at him -- curiously or in confusion. Something he expected the few Resistance fighters above ground were doing too... and they would spread what they saw to everyone else. What would they say? What --
Nope, he was shutting that line of thought down. It didn't matter. What mattered right now was, well. Trying to fight his own urge to shoot at the trooopers they passed. That was going to be a tough instinct to shake. Poe took a breath and tried to just focus on where they were going. Mostly, he just focused on Kylo. The contact and the other man's presence were probably the only things keeping him any semblance of calm. After all, the last time anything remotely close to this had happened he was in cuffs and fully expecting a painful death.