poeticforce | scene with ~nolongerbensolo

Entry tags:

darkside!poe,
scene

scene with ~nolongerbensolo

There's something surreal about the moment.

Another battle in the never-ending series of fighting as the Resistance tried to stay a step ahead of the First Order. The base is old, from the war before, and Leia had been sure it wouldn't be discovered right away. And it hadn't been. It was safe until it wasn't, which sort of seemed like the story of every day. Poe had thrown together a plan to keep the First Order at bay long enough that most everyone could get to the escape tunnels and to safety. It meant possibly sacrificing a dozen or so but their numbers had slowly been creeping back up (he was certain the First Order was growing exponentially in the meantime) so losing a few wasn't as devastating as it once was. He sent Rey and Finn with Leia; protecting her was the most important thing, almost more than the Resistance itself. Besides, she was the one who knew the way out.

In his typical fashion, Poe was handling the riskiest part of the plan: closing the sets of blast doors that would block the First Order from getting to the inner sanctum of the base and discovering the tunnels. He knew it wouldn't keep them out for long but the delay should be enough to give everyone else the time they needed. When discussing the plan Rey had pointed out the doors could only be opened from the inside and it had taken more effort than it should for Poe not to roll his eyes at her. He wasn't locking himself out; all he had to do was make it to the hangar bay and grab a ship and he'd meet up with them at a pre-arranged location. There was a small shuttle around the backside of the base that wasn't likely to be noticed, but that was the escape plan for the Resistance fighters who would be holding the line to keep the First Order out. If all the rebel ships were destroyed he'd just steal a First Order shuttle or something. He'd figure something out. He always did.

The first two sets of doors were closed without issue and he was running to the final set, hearing the sounds of the fight getting louder. At least it seemed like their troops were entrenched well enough to hold their own. Poe hadn't been completely confident on that point.

Turning the corner, he mentally prepared for what he needed to do, adrenaline humming through his veins. But no sooner was the door in sight then he found himself staring at Kylo Ren standing on the other side and Poe practically skidded to a stop. His blaster aimed reflexively but that was all it did.

He hadn't encountered the other man since Crait, which felt like eons ago but really was only months. That wasn't to say he hadn't seen Kylo since then, however.

The torture, apparently, had done more than simply waken his Force abilities. And that was torture for Poe. At least in the beginning, after the fleeting brushes of emotions that weren't his turned into words and eventually images. Truthfully, there had been a brief period where Poe wished the torture killed him because the idea of having some sort of connection, being bonded to Kylo Ren for the rest of his life sounded like a crueler torture than the interrogation droids and the Force ripping through his mind. It was bad enough Poe couldn't get away from the other man in his nightmares, now he was in his waking mind as well?

Poe tried to ignore it. What was one more thing on the increasingly long list of things he was consciously choosing not to deal with? Somewhere along the line it couldn't be ignored. Hostile words and provocation eventually gave way to annoyance rather than anger, and flippant remarks rather than trying to cut to the heart. Flare-ups of outright hostility became confined to immediately after battles between the two sides but those flare-ups never seemed to last.

He didn't think too much about what it meant. What any of it meant. Even if he wanted to there wasn't the time. With Leia's health in a fragile state ever since her near-death brush with space, leading the Resistance had fallen solely on Poe's broad shoulders.

It was probably for the best then that no one knew his nights were occasionally occupied by conversations with the leader of the enemy.

"What are you doing here?"

The words came out before his brain could catch up and stop him from making such a pointless remark and Poe furrowed his brow at himself, shaking his head slightly in hopes they could just ignore that.

"Weird seeing you without the mask. Too stuffy?" That was... marginally better. It sounded more like himself, anyway. And sure, he'd seen Kylo across their bond but actually in person was different, at least to him it was. "You're not going to stop the Resistance today so you might as well call off your stormtroopers."

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Kylo Ren had felt his mother fleeing and he knew where too. She likely didn't remember that she had told him about this base long ago, when he was still a boy and it was one he still remembered her describing to him. If he wanted, he could put an end to it all before they would even be able to make it to the ships he knew they had hidden away. He would just have the ships direct their blasts over the tunnels, collapsing them and likely killing everyone.

Or maybe she did remember and she was testing him herself. Testing to see if he would really put an end to the Resistance and to her like he had Han Solo. He cleared his throat, tilting his head before taking a step closer.

"I think you know the answer to that. Though, if you'd rather I go elsewhere...I could always meet them before they make it out of the tunnels. I'm sure they would love to see the glow of my Lightsaber before I cut them down." Not that he would. Honestly, there was a reason he was there in that moment instead of with the rest of his troops attacking.

He was there for Poe.

"All it takes is one order from me and they'll turn around and leave. I can put them off of the others. We both know my mother is not well. She can't continue to be a part of this fight or it will kill her." Another step closer, his eyes locking on Poe's. "And I know you care about her." Just as much as I do was left unsaid, though it was still there, hung between them, a whisper between their minds.

"Come with me and I will call the troopers off. And the ships." Oh he knew that with his mother weakened and ill that Poe would likely have taken her place. He knew they looked to Rey too, but she was far too untested. There would be no way the girl could lead them the way they truly needed. If Poe turned his back on them and came with him? It would scatter them and there was a very good chance there would be no coming back from it. That way he could at least ensure that the chances his mother would go to safety were the highest.

"I can feel the power in you, Poe. Its growing and it scares you. I know. After all the conversations we have had? I understand. Let me teach you. Let me guide you." One more step and he was close enough to touch the man, but instead he just held his hand out. "Come with me."

The casual threat made Poe narrow his eyes and tighten his grip on his blaster. That was somewhat reflexive too. He'd been fighting to protect the Resistance -- protect Leia -- for so long that even the hint of a threat tended to overrule anything else in his mind.

But Kylo kept talking and it wasn't long before that focus was shattered by surprise and shock.

His knee-jerk reaction should have been a snappy remark and some foolish-but-valiant last ditch effort to be defiant. Months ago it would have been. Before his time on the Finalizer, before Jakku, before he'd even heard of Kylo Ren he would have simply engaged combat and not bothered with conversation. There was no debating or compromising with the Dark. It couldn't be allowed to extinguish hope or to shrink the flame by trying to compromise. There was always a catch, always strings attached, always a blade waiting to stab in the back.

Staring somewhat wide-eyed at the other man, Poe swallowed hard as debate raged within him. The problem was there shouldn't have been a debate at all.

"You'll call them off? You swear it?"

He thought about the Resistance and all they had sacrificed, all they'd lost to the fight. Thought about the cause it felt like he'd been fighting all his life for. Wouldn't it be nice to stop fighting? You've given so much but what have you gotten in return? He didn't need anything in return. Doing what was best for the greater good of the galaxy was more important than one life, than his life. And when you die in battle, what then? The Resistance will die and no one will even remember your name.

His thoughts went to Leia then. He recalled the moment they all thought she was gone. How he'd stared out into space and wished there was a way he could get out there and give her his air, his anything if it meant she would live. The intense surge of relief that completely drowned out shock when she seemed to come back to life and he couldn't run fast enough to get to the door and help her to safety.

Something twisted hard in his chest, in his heart, to the point he almost wanted to rub his hand at it. Poe would do anything if it meant protecting her.

Anything.

The blaster slowly lowered to his side and he looked at the outstretched hand. He could save Leia. Save his friends. They wouldn't understand... but did they now? Did any of them understand anything he had gone through? Anything he felt? Could they even comprehend the feeling that had been growing inside him? They certainly couldn't help him. No one here could.

Poe lifted his eyes to meet Kylo's. Could he really trust the other man?

"Okay." His own hand was surprisingly steady as he reached out to take the offered hand. There was a tiny protest in the back of his mind, barely noted. A warning that there was no going back. But that was a lie. Poe had already crossed that line somewhere over the previous months. This choice was only further confirmation.

He really hadn't expected it to be easy. Did he hope for it? Yes, but after the way Rey had rejected him and turned her back on him, he had honestly expected much the same from Poe. But then again, Rey had always had the Force, she just had never had a clue how to use it.

Though, he supposed that Poe had always had it as well, it had just been a barely there spark that had flared to life when their minds had connected, when he was trying to find out about the droid with the map to Luke. That spark had honestly gotten stronger during the months since then and Kylo Ren had felt every moment of it, though at first he hadn't a clue what it was. Shared emotions had only been the beginning of something that he felt was even stronger than what Snoke had created between him and Rey.

When it had turned into being able to see one another, see things the other saw (though not enough to reveal where Poe was. Not at first.), he had been shocked. Poe Dameron, Force Sensitive. He never would have guessed that, but then he remembered what Luke had planted practically in the other man's back yard when he was a child. Poe had grown up so close to the Force tree so of course it was no surprise that it had effected him.

Still, he had expected some type of resistance from the man, even over their bond but in the end he'd only felt the slightest hesitance when the other had thought about Leia. Which yes, even he had to say that he was happy the man was thinking about her safety and her health. He wanted her as far away from all this as he could get her.

He grasped the man's hand firmly, squeezing before turning to walk back to his ship. Along the way he stopped, looking at one of the troopers. "Stop the attack and retreat. Tell everyone it was on my order and if anyone argues it, shoot them on sight."

Was this actually happening? He wasn't dreaming, right? Dreaming, drugged, having his mind rolled so he didn't know what was and wasn't real.

No, Poe could still feel adrenaline making his pulse pound in his ears, and he could definitely still hear the sounds of battle going on. So this was really happening. He was really... becoming a traitor? No, you're keeping the Resistance from being slaughtered again. You're protecting Leia. And a belated addition, You're looking out for your own interests for once.

He didn't realize he had become more tense until Kylo stopped to give the order and Poe felt some of the tension leave his back and shoulders. Even with those helmets blocking all signs of expression he swore he could feel the nearby troopers looking at them -- at him -- curiously or in confusion. Something he expected the few Resistance fighters above ground were doing too... and they would spread what they saw to everyone else. What would they say? What --

Nope, he was shutting that line of thought down. It didn't matter. What mattered right now was, well. Trying to fight his own urge to shoot at the trooopers they passed. That was going to be a tough instinct to shake. Poe took a breath and tried to just focus on where they were going. Mostly, he just focused on Kylo. The contact and the other man's presence were probably the only things keeping him any semblance of calm. After all, the last time anything remotely close to this had happened he was in cuffs and fully expecting a painful death.

He could feel the pilot's thoughts roiling through him and he stopped, turning. "If you prefer to look like a prisoner to them, I can make it so. It is your choice. You will not be though. You are free to leave, you have that choice." He stated, though he was sure the man would remember the deal. If Poe came with him, the others would be spared. Not that Ren would have likely destroyed all of them. He might have left a few, just enough people to take care of his mother, to see to it that she was okay.

The troopers around them started to do as ordered though, retreating back to their ships instead of pursuing the fleeing Resistance. He released Poe's hand, grasping his shoulder instead and looking into his eyes. "I can't promise that we will never go after them again, but we won't now. And I will...never go after my mother. She will always be safe so long as I have a say in it." It was obvious from how he said it, from the hesitance in his mind that these were words he never would have said before.

Before Snoke that is. Before he had killed the former Supreme Leader. Rey still thought he had done it for her, but that wasn't entirely true. Yes part of it had been. He didn't want to kill her and he knew that if he hadn't, Snoke would have and then likely would have turned on him. No, he did it more for himself. He had been tired of the man's ridicule and manipulation. He'd wanted to take his life back.

In the end, he knew Poe actually listened to him and even, possibly, understood him. Or at least, they were connected more than he and Rey ever had been. "Unlike Snoke, I don't want to destroy everything and rebuild the galaxy into some...well. He was worse than the Emperor. He just wanted to subjugate the galaxy. I want to unite the galaxy."

"No." There was no hesitance in his reply to the offer. "I definitely don't prefer that. Did that once, remember?" he added, his tone lighter for a moment. Attempting to joke in the face of stress and tension. He could do this, he would do this, but his ignoring of those issues even the other man had told him he needed to work through wasn't going to do him any favors.

Poe got serious again when Kylo's hand went to his shoulder and spoke of the possible future. Honestly, the words didn't surprise Poe. Only a fool would expect that stopping the fight now meant it was done forever. He brought his free hand up to cover Kylo's for a moment. "As long as she's safe. That's what matters." And if the two of them were at least united in that, Poe believed she would be safe.

"Well, good. Because I can think of some things I'd rather not see destroyed." Selfishly, his home planet of course, but really most of the galaxy was a good place to start. Sure, there were some rotten places, but that didn't mean they needed to be destroyed. But while they were speaking of destruction...

"So I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess most of your people aren't going to like this. Seeing as I've blown up a few of your big toys."

((sorry things have been a bit crazy!))

"You were actually a prisoner then though. You made the choice to come with me this time." He said, shrugging a shoulder before turning to continue the walk to his ship. He nodded as Poe talked, obviously agreeing with him, that was until the end and he heard the statement. He knew the First Order wasn't going to be the happiest at the decision to bring Poe Dameron into their ranks. At least to the extent that he would be in their presence. He had no intention of letting the man just become another mindless soldier in the army.

"I am the Supreme Leader. They really aren't going to have a choice. And the only person I would really be that concerned with would be General Hux. He seems to idealize that he has all the power." He tilted his head a bit to the side, smirking at Poe before walking up the ramp into the ship. "I have put him in his place and will continue to do so every time he decides to try and step out of line and rise more than he already has." Once on the ship he motioned for Poe to sit down and strap in, moving into the pilot's seat. "You are Force Sensitive. I think, in time and with the proper training, you could be a powerful Force User as well." He said, glancing back at him. "I wish to train you...but to have you at my side as well."

[ No worries! ]

As they continued the walk to the ship Poe did his best to ignore any of the little things nagging at his mind. This wasn't a time to doubt himself. Maybe it was an uncomfortable decision and one that certain people wouldn't understand, but he knew that it was the right one. Even without the bond that had developed between himself and Kylo, if giving himself up would save Leia and the rest of the Resistance? Yeah, he'd do it. What was one life for the greater good?

Of course, it went without saying that he was thankful this wasn't a situation of choosing death for himself in order to save those he cared about.

The mention of General Hux had a small smirk curling Poe's lips as well. "Yeah, after that little prank above D'Qar I don't imagine he's in my fanclub." Following Kylo onboard, the background stress that was trying to get his attention gradually faded away, as stresses tended to always do when he was on a ship. There were few places Poe felt as comfortable as he did on a ship, even it was one unfamiliar to him.

He almost moved for the pilot's seat out of habit but caught himself about the same time Kylo gestured. Poe settled in without hesitation, glancing around at the ship's interior and taking mental notes. "I might not be the best student, been a while since anyone's tried to teach me anything." he remarked half-jokingly. His gaze shifted back over to Kylo though at the final words. That sounded... serious. But the decision to come with Kylo at all was serious, so really, what was one more level of depth? It wasn't as if a similar topic hadn't been breached in one of their last conversations.

"Well, I guess that's kind of what this has all been building toward, hasn't it? You, me..." Poe made a vague gesture with one hand. Thinking about it made him feel a different sort of nerves, but it didn't change his decision. "I suppose I better hope I don't wear out my welcome then and have you change your mind."

"I mean, you did taunt him about his mother. A very touchy subject indeed." He said, shrugging a bit before glancing at him, locking eyes with him. "There is not much you could do to make me change my mind, Poe. The bond that has grown between us...it is stronger than the bond Snoke forced upon me and Rey. I have already felt the bond I had with her fading out and weakening while the one with you continues to grow stronger every day." He cleared his throat, turning away. "I can feel how strong we are together."

He couldn't help a slight blush on his cheeks all because he knew that these feelings between them, while they weren't strong, they certainly didn't end in Master and Apprentice. It was more than that but he wouldn't speak on that now. It was more of a discussion for later. "I am not known for my patience, but I think I will be fine teaching you. We will just take things slowly. It will be easier like that. I don't want to push you too fast or too hard. That is not the way to learn how to control your abilities."

While Poe didn't have anything he could really compare their bond to, he knew that he hadn't felt this way about anyone else before. Granted, his feelings when they came to Kylo were complicated at best, but they were certainly there. When restful sleep remained a rare occurrence for one reason or another, it left him with plenty of time to think. More and more often either the other man or the things they talked about were on his mind. He couldn't say he made an effort to delve too deep into thinking on some subjects -- like the fact his opinion of Kylo had changed at all -- but that had become a bad habit of Poe's that wasn't restricted to simply where the other man was concerned.

His brow furrowed some as he watched Kylo. It was strange to see him like this. Almost shy? Which wasn't a word Poe would have ever associated with him before.

"If it makes you feel better, I'm not generally the most patient either." Poe remarked, shrugging a shoulder. He would save remarking on the more personal thread of the conversation for a more appropriate moment. Just because he was feeling less anxious now didn't mean he had forgotten about what was going on outside the two of them. "I'm sure we'll figure it out. We're both certainly stubborn enough to." he added, cracking a grin, his habit of trying to lighten up serious moments coming through. "Who knows, maybe it'll be like flying for me." Poe kind of doubted it, but considering he hadn't exactly been making an effort to do anything with his abilities it was difficult to say how he would take to using the Force.

Once he had set the ship to lift off, turning slowly so he could see all around them. His troopers were retreating, no more shots being fired from his side, though the Resistance fighters that were still close were still firing on them. That was fine, he would leave it at that. He took a moment though, focusing until he could feel his mother. She was safe and far away from any fighting, which he was happy for. He gave a nod before turning the ship and taking off back towards the Finalizer.

"Well, we will work on it together, as I said. It will take time and it will be slow, but I can feel how strong you are, Poe." He said softly, smiling a bit. "We will be great together. I know it." He said as well, nodding at him and turning his head to lock eyes with the man for a moment. Then he was focusing on flying back to the ship.

It felt strange, looking down on what was left from the fight. Poe hadn't thought to call out to the few Resistance fighters but they might not have listened to him if he had, thinking him mind controlled or something similar. Not that he could blame them; if the tables were turned he would think the same. It would be the easier explanation for the Resistance to face than to dare think Poe Dameron of all people had found a reason to side with the enemy.

Poe of course didn't see it that way. He was saving the Resistance by accepting Kylo's offer -- no matter the selfish motivations that were primarily his reason for accepting. They were no match for the First Order right now, this would give them a chance to... well, do whatever they decided was best to do. Poe supposed it wasn't really his concern anymore. (Not that not being there was going to stop him from wondering, at least not at first. Habits couldn't be changed that quickly.) Mostly he just hoped Leia would understand. She was too important to the Resistance, to everyone. She needed to be safe and he knew Kylo felt the same.

As they approached the Finalizer he absently bit the inside of his cheek, feeling a flicker of anxiety. His knee-jerk reaction as usual was to ignore it and push it down as best he could, but... "Uh, fair warning. It's going to be really... weird for me to be back on that ship. After last time." And it felt weird to simply acknowledge it, but he couldn't really run away from those feelings anymore, could he? Not when he was going to be face to face with them for the foreseeable future. "It might be a good idea for you to take my blaster. Just in case." Though he wasn't keen on the thought of being defenseless, he also didn't want to accidentally shoot someone because he was jumpy and set off a chain-reaction of trouble.

Kylo Ren turned to look at Poe for a moment, studying him before reaching out his hand to take the blaster from him. "Give it to me then and I promise you, no harm will come to you while you are under my protection. You are not my prisoner, Dameron. Not technically. You came willingly...to learn. To let me teach you." He said quietly, all the while studying his face and the bond between them for any signs of doubt and yes he felt some, but most of them were from nervousness at being defenseless and from being back on the ship where he had been tortured in the first place. Once they docked he moved to disembark first, leading the way. "Come with me." He held up a hand as soon as Poe came into view, making sure it was known.

"This man is not a prisoner. He is not to be harmed in any way. Is that understood?" He said firmly, the troopers and other members of the First Order around them giving their assent before moving about their business. "I want the chambers next to mine to be prepared. They've been empty up until now, but they will be given to him now." He said before looking at Poe.

Even though it had been his suggestion, it still took Poe a moment to unholster his blaster and hand the gun over to Kylo. Once it was out of his hand there was a fleeting moment of doubt but no, he knew this was the best course of action. As much as he wanted to believe he would remain calm and relatively composed, Poe couldn't trust himself. Not in this, not right now. There was too much anxiety and painful memories wrapped up in the location.

In a way, it was indirectly a show of trust as well. That he was trusting Kylo wasn't suddenly going to turn on him once he was back in the lion's den. He was putting his life in Kylo's hands, which... wasn't something he ever imagined himself doing, to be quite honest. It wasn't really something he did, period.

When they landed Poe took a deep breath to try and settle his nerves before following after the other man. He might as well not bothered given the way adrenaline spiked hard as soon as he saw the familiar ship interior and troops moving about. Fight or flight threatened to kick in and he swallowed thickly, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket as his fingers curled into fists. He could do this. He would do this.

Poe was aware of Kylo talking to others but the words didn't really register, the pilot too wrapped up in trying to manage his emotions. He was very aware of Kylo's presence though. Subconsciously he focused on it, focused on the other man and tried to ignore the voice in the back of his head that was insisting he should be freaking out right now.

He continued to give orders for a moment before he felt the connection between them prickling in the back of his mind and suddenly he was aware of Poe's focus, of his emotions and he turned, dismissing the men he'd been speaking to so he could reach out to Poe. He stepped into his space, resting a hand on his shoulder and locking eyes with him. "You are safe, Poe. I told you, nothing will happen to you here while I am in charge. I would never allow anyone to hurt you." He murmured softly, squeezing his shoulder before motioning for the man to follow him.

"Until your quarters are prepared you can remain in mine. It shouldn't take too long, but I figure it might be easier for you to be somewhere away from the troops and anyone you might not feel comfortable with at first. And this way you won't have to worry about seeing Hux either. You'll be safer for now at least until it is clear with everyone that you are not a prisoner. You are here as my guest." He explained, walking to the door of his chambers and letting the door open before them. Inside it was actually very simple. Dark colors were the theme, yes, but the furniture was comfortable. Couch and chairs soft as well as the bed. "Sit. Make yourself comfortable."

All too happy to focus his gaze on Kylo, he couldn't help a slight sigh at the light touch, feeling his stress lessen for a moment. Poe didn't trust himself to speak -- or rather, he didn't trust his voice to be steady, so he simply nodded his understanding. And he did believe Kylo's words to be honest. Call him crazy but his instincts weren't telling him to run as far and as fast as he could. (That was all anxiety's doing.)

Poe followed closely behind Kylo and kept his gaze focused only on their immediate surroundings. If he kept the scope of his attention small then maybe he wouldn't feel so anxious. "Okay, yeah, sounds like a plan." In the corner of his mind that was calmer he was glad Kylo seemed to have put some thought into this because he certainly wouldn't have been any help thinking up any sort of plan. Once he settled he might then turn to wonder why the other man had a plan thought up, but right then it didn't remotely matter. Right then all Poe cared about was keeping himself together and sticking close to Kylo. Because he didn't trust a single other person on that ship.

Absently he felt relief at not recognizing the corridors they walked down. In time he would come to recognize them but at present the only path that would spark familiarity was the one that led to interrogation, so in this instance Poe was more than content to essentially be lost without Kylo to guide him. Once they arrived at the other man's quarters Poe's anxiety had lessened to the point he actually felt curious about the space. He glanced around, immediately being struck by what a contrast it was to, well, literally any of the bases or locations the Resistance had holed up at for a time.

"Huh, this is... definitely a lot nicer than anything I've seen in a long time." Or ever, really.

For a moment he looked at Poe, studying him before nodding. "I designed the room myself. One of the only...comforts I really allowed for a very long time. Hux tends to try and say that it isn't...enough since I'm now supreme leader, but I like it. And I think he's only saying that because he wants me to make him Grand Marshall." He explained before moving around the room. He found something else for Poe to wear. Something that was clean and likely more comfortable before setting it down on the table next to the couch. "The fresher is through there. If you wish to shower. There are holovids and well, you can surely find a way to entertain yourself while I am gone explaining this and giving orders to Hux. I need to let the ship know you are here and not to be bothered just as I did those men."

He brushed his fingers through his hair before finally moving closer to Poe, careful as he tilted his head. He had never truly expected the man to come with him. Well, maybe a little, but he hadn't thought Poe actually would and yet here he is. He felt something different through their bond, something he had thought he'd felt with Rey, but it had turned out to be false. It warmed him. "Is there anything you need or...want?"

"Who cares what Hux thinks. It's your space, it should be how you want it." The remark came easily, but then, deriding Hux came pretty damn easily. It had before the two of them started conversing across their connection, and now even more so. Poe couldn't say he was looking forward to seeing Hux face to face, but he'd deal with it when the time came.

After he was finished with the initial glance around his gaze sought the other man out and he nodded slightly at the mention of what Kylo needed to do. "Of course, I understand. I mean, I do have a little familiarity with all that." Poe replied, cracking a brief sideways grin. A small sign that he was calming down now that he was away from all the goings-on of the ship for the time being.

At the question Poe shook his head a little. "Nah, I'm fine. I'll just... make myself at home, I guess." It was just a lighthearted comment to try and cut through the seriousness of everything, but it still felt a little strange to say. Now that he was calming he was also more aware of their bond, and he picked up slightly on that borderline disbelief. Without really thinking about it he reached out to lightly put a hand on Kylo's arm. "I'll be fine, really. I'm not gonna go anywhere while you're gone. Take care of what you need to, I'll be here."

He looked at the hand for a moment before covering it with his own. "If anything changes, reach out to me. If you need anything or don't feel comfortable being here alone anymore." He said insistently, tilting his head. "Promise me." He murmured quietly. He knew Poe wouldn't leave. He could feel that much but he still couldn't help wanting the reassurance that he would reach out for him if he needed to. He honestly didn't want to leave either, but he knew he must.

There was a soft smile on his face finally, feeling more at peace than he had in a very long time. He wasn't alone. "I will return quickly."

Poe nodded, but he could sense the need for reassurance -- he didn't need their bond for that, he'd always had a way of knowing when those around him needed a pep talk or some other form of assurance. "I promise. If I need to, I'll reach out." he replied, giving Kylo's arm a gentle squeeze and cracking a smile. And he would. For as much as Poe had a tendency to try and deal with things on his own, he had also come to realize that he couldn't always do that. This was definitely a situation where if a problem or issue arose, he needed to make it known.

"Like I said, handle what you need to. I'm not going anywhere." He might end up roaming the space a little but he wouldn't leave it. For now it was relative safety and they both knew he needed that for the time being. As it was, Poe suspected it might be a little while before he felt comfortable going anywhere without Kylo near.

Finally Ren nodded, pulling away and heading for the door. He stepped out of his quarters, listening to the door slide closed behind him, almost silently though not quite. It was how he preferred it. Once he had left he straightened himself, face going blank as he made his way to the bridge.

It only took a couple of hours but when he came back he looked angry. More so than normal honestly. He walked into the room, seething as the door closed and he made sure it was locked behind him. His fingers twitched at his side like he wanted to grab his lightsaber and destroy something, but he restrained himself if for no other reason than he didn't want to startle Poe.

Once he was left alone he walked through the space, taking a good look around. The aesthetic was certainly different from anything he was used to. Not bad, just different. A change. He'd get used to it, he supposed. Kind of had to.

Poe shook his head at that line of thinking. Maybe a shower would help clear his mind, he felt like he needed it after all that had taken place this day. As he shrugged off his jacket he realized he still had his communicator on him. After a moment's hesitation he checked and found there were several messages from his friends, mostly panicked and worried sounding. Feeling a sharp pang of guilt, he sent a call to Finn, knowing he needed to pass on some kind of message.

"Hey, it's -- yeah, it's me. Look... no no, just listen, okay? I'm fine, I just -- will you listen? Please?" He ran his free hand through his hair at the worry so plain on the other end of the call. One day his friends would understand. One day. "I arranged a cease fire, probably only temporary but you guys need to get somewhere safe. Get Leia somewhere safe. ... Yeah I know what it looked like but... No, no one's been in my head. This is me. Totally me right now. ... Yes, it's crazy, but crazy is what I do." Poe cracked a smile despite the tension he was feeling. "I need you guys not to worry about me. Seriously. Focus on Leia. Keeping her safe is all that matters. You and Rey need to look after Leia. Promise me you will, no matter what. ... Thank you. ... And have everyone change their comm channels after this call, just to be safe."

"I need to go, just... just look after Leia and take care of yourselves. Tell her... tell her I did this for her, and to protect the Resistance." And for himself.

After another minute or two he ended the call and dropped his communicator on the floor, breaking it under his boot before he could change his mind. Fuck, that was harder than he thought it would be. Rubbing his hands over his face, he went to take a shower, knowing he needed it now more than anything. Not so much to get clean but to try and clear his head, to wash away the guilt over feeling like he was abandoning his friends and wondering if he made the right decision.

Deep down he knew it was the right decision for him. Maybe it was a little messed up but, well, he'd often felt that way since his torture. It had changed him in more ways than one.

When he got redressed he mostly threw on his own clothes out of habit, though he put on the clean shirt under his jacket. And while Poe had intended to find something to occupy himself with, the hot shower and all the stress caught up to him. He ended up stretching out on the couch and drifting into a thankfully dreamless light slumber.

Poe was yet asleep when Kylo returned, an arm curled under his head and the other across his chest. It didn't take long for him to stir though, subconsciously picking up on the other man's agitated energy. He covered a yawn and slowly blinked away sleep, at least until his eyes landed on Kylo. "Everything okay?" he drowsily asked, rubbing one hand over his face as he tried to force himself to wake up quickly, and the other hand pushing him up to a sitting position.

He stopped when he saw Poe asleep on the couch, tilting his head and staring for a long moment. He cleared his throat, moving closer as the man stirred before he frowned again. "No. General Hux is a thorn in my side, but I dealt with the situation and with him. He knows you will be on the ship and that you are studying under me. While not happy about it, he also knows that if anything happens to you that he will be the first to pay for it." He couldn't help but smile slightly as he moved closer. "You are still tired. This had been a very emotional day."

He'd looked away and noticed the pieces of the communicator, walking to them and picking a few up. "What is...you still had your communicator." He stated carefully, looking at Poe. "You could have escaped. You could have called your friends to come get you, but you destroyed it." Of course, technically, Poe had come willingly. Yes, Ren had given him a decision to make regarding it. The Resistance or Poe, but this could have been his chance to leave had he truly wanted to.

The mention of Hux definitely helped to wake him up. A reminder of where he was, what -- and who -- he would now have to deal with. Poe frowned a little as he listened, somewhat feeling like there was more to it than how simple Kylo made it sound. "He's going to be a constant problem, isn't he?" Call it a hunch, mixed with Poe's own experiences in the military. Even without his prior antagonizing of Hux they were unlikely to get along. That said, he would make an effort not to make things worse than they had to be. At least, he would try.

Combing his fingers through his hair to tame it down, his mind shifted gears when Kylo noticed the small mess he had forgotten to clean up. "Yeah, didn't realize I did." he replied, lightly shrugging a shoulder as if it were nothing. He wasn't sure what to make of the look Kylo gave him. "I just let them know a cease fire was arranged. Told Finn and Rey to look after Leia and keep her safe. That keeping her safe was what mattered. And I told them not to worry about me, that it was my decision." It would have been easy to paint otherwise but Poe had no reason to. Almost more than that, he didn't want his friends thinking that he'd been forced into this. A rumor was inevitable of course, that he'd been mind tricked into going with Kylo or something similar, but such a rumor wouldn't start with him.

"That was all that really needed to be said so afterward I broke it. I don't need it anymore." he added as he looked up at Kylo. He wasn't going back to the Resistance. He knew that the moment he took the other man's hand.

"He will try to be, but I will handle him. He isn't happy you're here and he thinks that you will betray me. I've tried to explain that I know you won't, but until you have proven yourself he isn't going to believe it." He said, exasperation obvious on his face. "Not that I need you to prove anything. I would feel it were you not true. It would be obvious through our bond."

He bent down, picking up the broken pieces as he listened to Poe, nodding at his words, though still somewhat awed. At the mention of his mother, he pushed his fingers through his hair and sighed, body tense as he turned and moved to a window that looked out to the stars. "So long as they do that, there will be no problem, but you know this war isn't over, Poe." He said, turning his head to stare at the man, turning to move back to him. He sat on the couch beside him hesitantly, clearing his throat. "Eventually we will go after them again. The best thing your friends can do for Leia now is to take her somewhere far away from the Resistance. Far away from the fighting and we both know she is too stubborn to ever allow it. She will die fighting." Even if that was the last thing he wanted for her.

He threw the pieces of the communicator away, setting back on the couch more as he continued to look at him. "You'll have a few days before we start training. Time for you to adjust, to feel more...comfortable. Or as comfortable as you can be here, but you'll be right next door. You will be the only one on this ship to have full access to my quarters in case you need me."

"I know." he replied quietly, almost reluctantly, as he listened and watched the other man move around the room before finally coming to join him on the couch. Poe knew the cease fire was just that; a temporary stop, not an end. There were too many on both sides that wouldn't be happy until the other was destroyed. Perhaps that was where some of his discontent had risen from as well. He had joined the cause because he believed in it and he believed in Leia. While he still believed in Leia, there had been days he wondered if some of the others had forgotten what they were supposed to be fighting for in the first place.

Running his hands through his hair, Poe sighed. "I don't really want to think about that. Not right now." It was selfish but true. As it was, it had yet to occur to him that there could be some point down the line where he might have to fight against Resistance allies. "And she might, your mother might at least concede to not being on the front lines, so to speak. She knows that she's the spark of hope for a lot of people." He knew what Kylo said was more likely to become the eventual reality but Poe could still hope that it wouldn't be. He could hope for the best, as he so often did.

Poe couldn't help but chuckle dryly at the next subject. "Comfortable... yeah, that might take a little bit." He shifted on the couch so he could more easily look at Kylo as they talked. And he had to admit it didn't feel as strange as he thought it might, but then, they'd been conversing across their shared connection for awhile now. The only difference now was that it was actually happening in person. "This is going to be a hell of a lot to adjust to, I'm not gonna lie. I'm sure I will, don't get me wrong, but it's a pretty radical change for me."

"I don't expect you to feel comfortable here...yet, anyways. But I can promise you that beyond our training, no harm will come to you. I can't promise that for training. We are going to be sparring after all." He smiled lightly, watching him. "You just take the time you need. You have me here to help you."

His fingers pushed through his hair slowly, eyes locked on Poe's for a long moment before pulling away, blushing a bit and looking away.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

scene with ~nolongerbensolo

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welp this turned out longer than expected :x

Nothing wrong with that. haha

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