scene with ~nolongerbensolo

[poeticforce]

There's something surreal about the moment.

Another battle in the never-ending series of fighting as the Resistance tried to stay a step ahead of the First Order. The base is old, from the war before, and Leia had been sure it wouldn't be discovered right away. And it hadn't been. It was safe until it wasn't, which sort of seemed like the story of every day. Poe had thrown together a plan to keep the First Order at bay long enough that most everyone could get to the escape tunnels and to safety. It meant possibly sacrificing a dozen or so but their numbers had slowly been creeping back up (he was certain the First Order was growing exponentially in the meantime) so losing a few wasn't as devastating as it once was. He sent Rey and Finn with Leia; protecting her was the most important thing, almost more than the Resistance itself. Besides, she was the one who knew the way out.

In his typical fashion, Poe was handling the riskiest part of the plan: closing the sets of blast doors that would block the First Order from getting to the inner sanctum of the base and discovering the tunnels. He knew it wouldn't keep them out for long but the delay should be enough to give everyone else the time they needed. When discussing the plan Rey had pointed out the doors could only be opened from the inside and it had taken more effort than it should for Poe not to roll his eyes at her. He wasn't locking himself out; all he had to do was make it to the hangar bay and grab a ship and he'd meet up with them at a pre-arranged location. There was a small shuttle around the backside of the base that wasn't likely to be noticed, but that was the escape plan for the Resistance fighters who would be holding the line to keep the First Order out. If all the rebel ships were destroyed he'd just steal a First Order shuttle or something. He'd figure something out. He always did.

The first two sets of doors were closed without issue and he was running to the final set, hearing the sounds of the fight getting louder. At least it seemed like their troops were entrenched well enough to hold their own. Poe hadn't been completely confident on that point.

Turning the corner, he mentally prepared for what he needed to do, adrenaline humming through his veins. But no sooner was the door in sight then he found himself staring at Kylo Ren standing on the other side and Poe practically skidded to a stop. His blaster aimed reflexively but that was all it did.

He hadn't encountered the other man since Crait, which felt like eons ago but really was only months. That wasn't to say he hadn't seen Kylo since then, however.

The torture, apparently, had done more than simply waken his Force abilities. And that was torture for Poe. At least in the beginning, after the fleeting brushes of emotions that weren't his turned into words and eventually images. Truthfully, there had been a brief period where Poe wished the torture killed him because the idea of having some sort of connection, being bonded to Kylo Ren for the rest of his life sounded like a crueler torture than the interrogation droids and the Force ripping through his mind. It was bad enough Poe couldn't get away from the other man in his nightmares, now he was in his waking mind as well?

Poe tried to ignore it. What was one more thing on the increasingly long list of things he was consciously choosing not to deal with? Somewhere along the line it couldn't be ignored. Hostile words and provocation eventually gave way to annoyance rather than anger, and flippant remarks rather than trying to cut to the heart. Flare-ups of outright hostility became confined to immediately after battles between the two sides but those flare-ups never seemed to last.

He didn't think too much about what it meant. What any of it meant. Even if he wanted to there wasn't the time. With Leia's health in a fragile state ever since her near-death brush with space, leading the Resistance had fallen solely on Poe's broad shoulders.

It was probably for the best then that no one knew his nights were occasionally occupied by conversations with the leader of the enemy.

"What are you doing here?"

The words came out before his brain could catch up and stop him from making such a pointless remark and Poe furrowed his brow at himself, shaking his head slightly in hopes they could just ignore that.

"Weird seeing you without the mask. Too stuffy?" That was... marginally better. It sounded more like himself, anyway. And sure, he'd seen Kylo across their bond but actually in person was different, at least to him it was. "You're not going to stop the Resistance today so you might as well call off your stormtroopers."

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[poeticforce]

Once he was left alone he walked through the space, taking a good look around. The aesthetic was certainly different from anything he was used to. Not bad, just different. A change. He'd get used to it, he supposed. Kind of had to.

Poe shook his head at that line of thinking. Maybe a shower would help clear his mind, he felt like he needed it after all that had taken place this day. As he shrugged off his jacket he realized he still had his communicator on him. After a moment's hesitation he checked and found there were several messages from his friends, mostly panicked and worried sounding. Feeling a sharp pang of guilt, he sent a call to Finn, knowing he needed to pass on some kind of message.

"Hey, it's -- yeah, it's me. Look... no no, just listen, okay? I'm fine, I just -- will you listen? Please?" He ran his free hand through his hair at the worry so plain on the other end of the call. One day his friends would understand. One day. "I arranged a cease fire, probably only temporary but you guys need to get somewhere safe. Get Leia somewhere safe. ... Yeah I know what it looked like but... No, no one's been in my head. This is me. Totally me right now. ... Yes, it's crazy, but crazy is what I do." Poe cracked a smile despite the tension he was feeling. "I need you guys not to worry about me. Seriously. Focus on Leia. Keeping her safe is all that matters. You and Rey need to look after Leia. Promise me you will, no matter what. ... Thank you. ... And have everyone change their comm channels after this call, just to be safe."

"I need to go, just... just look after Leia and take care of yourselves. Tell her... tell her I did this for her, and to protect the Resistance." And for himself.

After another minute or two he ended the call and dropped his communicator on the floor, breaking it under his boot before he could change his mind. Fuck, that was harder than he thought it would be. Rubbing his hands over his face, he went to take a shower, knowing he needed it now more than anything. Not so much to get clean but to try and clear his head, to wash away the guilt over feeling like he was abandoning his friends and wondering if he made the right decision.

Deep down he knew it was the right decision for him. Maybe it was a little messed up but, well, he'd often felt that way since his torture. It had changed him in more ways than one.

When he got redressed he mostly threw on his own clothes out of habit, though he put on the clean shirt under his jacket. And while Poe had intended to find something to occupy himself with, the hot shower and all the stress caught up to him. He ended up stretching out on the couch and drifting into a thankfully dreamless light slumber.

Poe was yet asleep when Kylo returned, an arm curled under his head and the other across his chest. It didn't take long for him to stir though, subconsciously picking up on the other man's agitated energy. He covered a yawn and slowly blinked away sleep, at least until his eyes landed on Kylo. "Everything okay?" he drowsily asked, rubbing one hand over his face as he tried to force himself to wake up quickly, and the other hand pushing him up to a sitting position.

[nolongerbensolo]

He stopped when he saw Poe asleep on the couch, tilting his head and staring for a long moment. He cleared his throat, moving closer as the man stirred before he frowned again. "No. General Hux is a thorn in my side, but I dealt with the situation and with him. He knows you will be on the ship and that you are studying under me. While not happy about it, he also knows that if anything happens to you that he will be the first to pay for it." He couldn't help but smile slightly as he moved closer. "You are still tired. This had been a very emotional day."

He'd looked away and noticed the pieces of the communicator, walking to them and picking a few up. "What is...you still had your communicator." He stated carefully, looking at Poe. "You could have escaped. You could have called your friends to come get you, but you destroyed it." Of course, technically, Poe had come willingly. Yes, Ren had given him a decision to make regarding it. The Resistance or Poe, but this could have been his chance to leave had he truly wanted to.

[poeticforce]

The mention of Hux definitely helped to wake him up. A reminder of where he was, what -- and who -- he would now have to deal with. Poe frowned a little as he listened, somewhat feeling like there was more to it than how simple Kylo made it sound. "He's going to be a constant problem, isn't he?" Call it a hunch, mixed with Poe's own experiences in the military. Even without his prior antagonizing of Hux they were unlikely to get along. That said, he would make an effort not to make things worse than they had to be. At least, he would try.

Combing his fingers through his hair to tame it down, his mind shifted gears when Kylo noticed the small mess he had forgotten to clean up. "Yeah, didn't realize I did." he replied, lightly shrugging a shoulder as if it were nothing. He wasn't sure what to make of the look Kylo gave him. "I just let them know a cease fire was arranged. Told Finn and Rey to look after Leia and keep her safe. That keeping her safe was what mattered. And I told them not to worry about me, that it was my decision." It would have been easy to paint otherwise but Poe had no reason to. Almost more than that, he didn't want his friends thinking that he'd been forced into this. A rumor was inevitable of course, that he'd been mind tricked into going with Kylo or something similar, but such a rumor wouldn't start with him.

"That was all that really needed to be said so afterward I broke it. I don't need it anymore." he added as he looked up at Kylo. He wasn't going back to the Resistance. He knew that the moment he took the other man's hand.

[nolongerbensolo]

"He will try to be, but I will handle him. He isn't happy you're here and he thinks that you will betray me. I've tried to explain that I know you won't, but until you have proven yourself he isn't going to believe it." He said, exasperation obvious on his face. "Not that I need you to prove anything. I would feel it were you not true. It would be obvious through our bond."

He bent down, picking up the broken pieces as he listened to Poe, nodding at his words, though still somewhat awed. At the mention of his mother, he pushed his fingers through his hair and sighed, body tense as he turned and moved to a window that looked out to the stars. "So long as they do that, there will be no problem, but you know this war isn't over, Poe." He said, turning his head to stare at the man, turning to move back to him. He sat on the couch beside him hesitantly, clearing his throat. "Eventually we will go after them again. The best thing your friends can do for Leia now is to take her somewhere far away from the Resistance. Far away from the fighting and we both know she is too stubborn to ever allow it. She will die fighting." Even if that was the last thing he wanted for her.

He threw the pieces of the communicator away, setting back on the couch more as he continued to look at him. "You'll have a few days before we start training. Time for you to adjust, to feel more...comfortable. Or as comfortable as you can be here, but you'll be right next door. You will be the only one on this ship to have full access to my quarters in case you need me."

[poeticforce]

"I know." he replied quietly, almost reluctantly, as he listened and watched the other man move around the room before finally coming to join him on the couch. Poe knew the cease fire was just that; a temporary stop, not an end. There were too many on both sides that wouldn't be happy until the other was destroyed. Perhaps that was where some of his discontent had risen from as well. He had joined the cause because he believed in it and he believed in Leia. While he still believed in Leia, there had been days he wondered if some of the others had forgotten what they were supposed to be fighting for in the first place.

Running his hands through his hair, Poe sighed. "I don't really want to think about that. Not right now." It was selfish but true. As it was, it had yet to occur to him that there could be some point down the line where he might have to fight against Resistance allies. "And she might, your mother might at least concede to not being on the front lines, so to speak. She knows that she's the spark of hope for a lot of people." He knew what Kylo said was more likely to become the eventual reality but Poe could still hope that it wouldn't be. He could hope for the best, as he so often did.

Poe couldn't help but chuckle dryly at the next subject. "Comfortable... yeah, that might take a little bit." He shifted on the couch so he could more easily look at Kylo as they talked. And he had to admit it didn't feel as strange as he thought it might, but then, they'd been conversing across their shared connection for awhile now. The only difference now was that it was actually happening in person. "This is going to be a hell of a lot to adjust to, I'm not gonna lie. I'm sure I will, don't get me wrong, but it's a pretty radical change for me."

[nolongerbensolo]

"I don't expect you to feel comfortable here...yet, anyways. But I can promise you that beyond our training, no harm will come to you. I can't promise that for training. We are going to be sparring after all." He smiled lightly, watching him. "You just take the time you need. You have me here to help you."

His fingers pushed through his hair slowly, eyes locked on Poe's for a long moment before pulling away, blushing a bit and looking away.