poeticforce: (trying to hold it together)
Poe Dameron. ([personal profile] poeticforce) wrote2018-05-08 07:53 am
Entry tags:

scene with ~namedforhim.


They both knew it was bound to happen eventually. No matter how cautious they were, how careful they were, how much they tried to plan or restrain emotions or keep things 'normal' by sheer will alone. They both hated it (to varying extents, Poe would never claim to know exactly what the other man was thinking unless he told him) but it was necessary. Expectations weighed on both of them and there were dozens of reasons why this was a bad idea with potential to have ripples further than either of them could see.

And of course, it happened in the worst way.

He should have made sure the door was locked but after weeks apart thanks to a mission the last thing either of them were thinking about was security. Well, Poe might have, but when Anakin's lips were on his and hands yanking on his belt it was difficult to think about anything but the younger man. Neither of them heard the door, but they definitely heard the startled exclamation and dread chased away desire faster than Poe realized was possible as his eyes flew open to land upon Leia.

For a fleeting moment, he thought he'd almost rather deal with Kylo Ren again. Sure, why not. Even that had to be better than the disappointment -- and betrayal?? -- he swore he could see in her eyes.

Not fifteen minutes later the two of them were having it out in the briefing room, the glass only halfway muffling the argument and certainly doing nothing to hide it from those in mission control at the moment. His face was on fire, less from any embarrassment as from the hard slap that'd nearly made him stumble once he caught up to Leia. It felt like having a fight with his mom and Poe hated that. He hated every second of it. But damn it, they weren't doing anything wrong. His voice raised; this was one argument that he refused to back down from.

Then she had to go and blindside him. Throwing a mission at him that was out near Hutt Space, too dangerous for anyone else. It'd take him easily a week just to get out there and damn it, he'd just gotten back. But either he did his job or he was done. Not demoted, done. Poe was sure it was just emotion talking but that didn't stop the way his throat tightened or his eyes stung.

Fine. Fine. What choice did he have.

Anger and hurt were coiled in his gut, scalding and dark with energy that wasn't purely emotion. He stalked outside with helmet in hand but didn't immediately go to his ship. Flying angry was dangerous. He just needed a minute to try and clear his head, to try and not think about the fact Leia was sending him away because he was involved with her son. It wasn't fucking fair. None of this was.

namedforhim: (pic#10267135)

[personal profile] namedforhim 2018-05-13 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
Anakin felt like he was five years old again. Overlooked, ignored, given affection in passing simply because he was the Princess and General's son. He'd been raised by droids, nannies of metal only too delighted to look after him, teach him, toddle along after him, and pick him up whenever he squalled.

Looking back, it was no wonder his mother seemed more of a stranger than anything else. Especially now.

He stood outside the briefing room, in the outer corridor, listening without meaning to as General Solo and her best pilot shouted back and forth at each other. And felt sicker to his stomach with each flung word. But he wasn't going to leave. He wasn't. Poe deserved better than that, than abandonment.

And by all the kryffing hells, they hadn't been doing anything wrong.

So Anakin simply looked down the hallway, not even seeing the staff that paused at the noise, looked to him nervously, then hurried on their way. It was only when Poe stormed out of the briefing room, flushed and out of breath, anger high on his sharp cheekbones, and Anakin's heart plummeted to his boots. He knew better than to reach out, to say anything; his commanding officer was right behind the pilot, glaring at him with enough intensity to cow anyone else in the galaxy.

Her youngest son only felt...numb, by that hard expression.

Anakin couldn't even watch Poe storm off--not that he didn't want to run after him and apologize for the next two years for inflicting this upon him--but because his mother simply wouldn't allow it. But Han Solo's true offspring met her Look steadily, unswervingly. And, since he was his father's son, opened his mouth first.

"Why are you so upset?"

Calm, aloof, resigned. He'd learned before he toddled how to control his anger, to keep all of his emotion carefully bottled away. Letting it rule his actions could be deadly. And he was stronger than that.