poeticforce | scene with ~nolongerbensolo

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scene with ~nolongerbensolo

There's something surreal about the moment.

Another battle in the never-ending series of fighting as the Resistance tried to stay a step ahead of the First Order. The base is old, from the war before, and Leia had been sure it wouldn't be discovered right away. And it hadn't been. It was safe until it wasn't, which sort of seemed like the story of every day. Poe had thrown together a plan to keep the First Order at bay long enough that most everyone could get to the escape tunnels and to safety. It meant possibly sacrificing a dozen or so but their numbers had slowly been creeping back up (he was certain the First Order was growing exponentially in the meantime) so losing a few wasn't as devastating as it once was. He sent Rey and Finn with Leia; protecting her was the most important thing, almost more than the Resistance itself. Besides, she was the one who knew the way out.

In his typical fashion, Poe was handling the riskiest part of the plan: closing the sets of blast doors that would block the First Order from getting to the inner sanctum of the base and discovering the tunnels. He knew it wouldn't keep them out for long but the delay should be enough to give everyone else the time they needed. When discussing the plan Rey had pointed out the doors could only be opened from the inside and it had taken more effort than it should for Poe not to roll his eyes at her. He wasn't locking himself out; all he had to do was make it to the hangar bay and grab a ship and he'd meet up with them at a pre-arranged location. There was a small shuttle around the backside of the base that wasn't likely to be noticed, but that was the escape plan for the Resistance fighters who would be holding the line to keep the First Order out. If all the rebel ships were destroyed he'd just steal a First Order shuttle or something. He'd figure something out. He always did.

The first two sets of doors were closed without issue and he was running to the final set, hearing the sounds of the fight getting louder. At least it seemed like their troops were entrenched well enough to hold their own. Poe hadn't been completely confident on that point.

Turning the corner, he mentally prepared for what he needed to do, adrenaline humming through his veins. But no sooner was the door in sight then he found himself staring at Kylo Ren standing on the other side and Poe practically skidded to a stop. His blaster aimed reflexively but that was all it did.

He hadn't encountered the other man since Crait, which felt like eons ago but really was only months. That wasn't to say he hadn't seen Kylo since then, however.

The torture, apparently, had done more than simply waken his Force abilities. And that was torture for Poe. At least in the beginning, after the fleeting brushes of emotions that weren't his turned into words and eventually images. Truthfully, there had been a brief period where Poe wished the torture killed him because the idea of having some sort of connection, being bonded to Kylo Ren for the rest of his life sounded like a crueler torture than the interrogation droids and the Force ripping through his mind. It was bad enough Poe couldn't get away from the other man in his nightmares, now he was in his waking mind as well?

Poe tried to ignore it. What was one more thing on the increasingly long list of things he was consciously choosing not to deal with? Somewhere along the line it couldn't be ignored. Hostile words and provocation eventually gave way to annoyance rather than anger, and flippant remarks rather than trying to cut to the heart. Flare-ups of outright hostility became confined to immediately after battles between the two sides but those flare-ups never seemed to last.

He didn't think too much about what it meant. What any of it meant. Even if he wanted to there wasn't the time. With Leia's health in a fragile state ever since her near-death brush with space, leading the Resistance had fallen solely on Poe's broad shoulders.

It was probably for the best then that no one knew his nights were occasionally occupied by conversations with the leader of the enemy.

"What are you doing here?"

The words came out before his brain could catch up and stop him from making such a pointless remark and Poe furrowed his brow at himself, shaking his head slightly in hopes they could just ignore that.

"Weird seeing you without the mask. Too stuffy?" That was... marginally better. It sounded more like himself, anyway. And sure, he'd seen Kylo across their bond but actually in person was different, at least to him it was. "You're not going to stop the Resistance today so you might as well call off your stormtroopers."

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Once he had set the ship to lift off, turning slowly so he could see all around them. His troopers were retreating, no more shots being fired from his side, though the Resistance fighters that were still close were still firing on them. That was fine, he would leave it at that. He took a moment though, focusing until he could feel his mother. She was safe and far away from any fighting, which he was happy for. He gave a nod before turning the ship and taking off back towards the Finalizer.

"Well, we will work on it together, as I said. It will take time and it will be slow, but I can feel how strong you are, Poe." He said softly, smiling a bit. "We will be great together. I know it." He said as well, nodding at him and turning his head to lock eyes with the man for a moment. Then he was focusing on flying back to the ship.

It felt strange, looking down on what was left from the fight. Poe hadn't thought to call out to the few Resistance fighters but they might not have listened to him if he had, thinking him mind controlled or something similar. Not that he could blame them; if the tables were turned he would think the same. It would be the easier explanation for the Resistance to face than to dare think Poe Dameron of all people had found a reason to side with the enemy.

Poe of course didn't see it that way. He was saving the Resistance by accepting Kylo's offer -- no matter the selfish motivations that were primarily his reason for accepting. They were no match for the First Order right now, this would give them a chance to... well, do whatever they decided was best to do. Poe supposed it wasn't really his concern anymore. (Not that not being there was going to stop him from wondering, at least not at first. Habits couldn't be changed that quickly.) Mostly he just hoped Leia would understand. She was too important to the Resistance, to everyone. She needed to be safe and he knew Kylo felt the same.

As they approached the Finalizer he absently bit the inside of his cheek, feeling a flicker of anxiety. His knee-jerk reaction as usual was to ignore it and push it down as best he could, but... "Uh, fair warning. It's going to be really... weird for me to be back on that ship. After last time." And it felt weird to simply acknowledge it, but he couldn't really run away from those feelings anymore, could he? Not when he was going to be face to face with them for the foreseeable future. "It might be a good idea for you to take my blaster. Just in case." Though he wasn't keen on the thought of being defenseless, he also didn't want to accidentally shoot someone because he was jumpy and set off a chain-reaction of trouble.

Kylo Ren turned to look at Poe for a moment, studying him before reaching out his hand to take the blaster from him. "Give it to me then and I promise you, no harm will come to you while you are under my protection. You are not my prisoner, Dameron. Not technically. You came willingly...to learn. To let me teach you." He said quietly, all the while studying his face and the bond between them for any signs of doubt and yes he felt some, but most of them were from nervousness at being defenseless and from being back on the ship where he had been tortured in the first place. Once they docked he moved to disembark first, leading the way. "Come with me." He held up a hand as soon as Poe came into view, making sure it was known.

"This man is not a prisoner. He is not to be harmed in any way. Is that understood?" He said firmly, the troopers and other members of the First Order around them giving their assent before moving about their business. "I want the chambers next to mine to be prepared. They've been empty up until now, but they will be given to him now." He said before looking at Poe.

Even though it had been his suggestion, it still took Poe a moment to unholster his blaster and hand the gun over to Kylo. Once it was out of his hand there was a fleeting moment of doubt but no, he knew this was the best course of action. As much as he wanted to believe he would remain calm and relatively composed, Poe couldn't trust himself. Not in this, not right now. There was too much anxiety and painful memories wrapped up in the location.

In a way, it was indirectly a show of trust as well. That he was trusting Kylo wasn't suddenly going to turn on him once he was back in the lion's den. He was putting his life in Kylo's hands, which... wasn't something he ever imagined himself doing, to be quite honest. It wasn't really something he did, period.

When they landed Poe took a deep breath to try and settle his nerves before following after the other man. He might as well not bothered given the way adrenaline spiked hard as soon as he saw the familiar ship interior and troops moving about. Fight or flight threatened to kick in and he swallowed thickly, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket as his fingers curled into fists. He could do this. He would do this.

Poe was aware of Kylo talking to others but the words didn't really register, the pilot too wrapped up in trying to manage his emotions. He was very aware of Kylo's presence though. Subconsciously he focused on it, focused on the other man and tried to ignore the voice in the back of his head that was insisting he should be freaking out right now.

He continued to give orders for a moment before he felt the connection between them prickling in the back of his mind and suddenly he was aware of Poe's focus, of his emotions and he turned, dismissing the men he'd been speaking to so he could reach out to Poe. He stepped into his space, resting a hand on his shoulder and locking eyes with him. "You are safe, Poe. I told you, nothing will happen to you here while I am in charge. I would never allow anyone to hurt you." He murmured softly, squeezing his shoulder before motioning for the man to follow him.

"Until your quarters are prepared you can remain in mine. It shouldn't take too long, but I figure it might be easier for you to be somewhere away from the troops and anyone you might not feel comfortable with at first. And this way you won't have to worry about seeing Hux either. You'll be safer for now at least until it is clear with everyone that you are not a prisoner. You are here as my guest." He explained, walking to the door of his chambers and letting the door open before them. Inside it was actually very simple. Dark colors were the theme, yes, but the furniture was comfortable. Couch and chairs soft as well as the bed. "Sit. Make yourself comfortable."

All too happy to focus his gaze on Kylo, he couldn't help a slight sigh at the light touch, feeling his stress lessen for a moment. Poe didn't trust himself to speak -- or rather, he didn't trust his voice to be steady, so he simply nodded his understanding. And he did believe Kylo's words to be honest. Call him crazy but his instincts weren't telling him to run as far and as fast as he could. (That was all anxiety's doing.)

Poe followed closely behind Kylo and kept his gaze focused only on their immediate surroundings. If he kept the scope of his attention small then maybe he wouldn't feel so anxious. "Okay, yeah, sounds like a plan." In the corner of his mind that was calmer he was glad Kylo seemed to have put some thought into this because he certainly wouldn't have been any help thinking up any sort of plan. Once he settled he might then turn to wonder why the other man had a plan thought up, but right then it didn't remotely matter. Right then all Poe cared about was keeping himself together and sticking close to Kylo. Because he didn't trust a single other person on that ship.

Absently he felt relief at not recognizing the corridors they walked down. In time he would come to recognize them but at present the only path that would spark familiarity was the one that led to interrogation, so in this instance Poe was more than content to essentially be lost without Kylo to guide him. Once they arrived at the other man's quarters Poe's anxiety had lessened to the point he actually felt curious about the space. He glanced around, immediately being struck by what a contrast it was to, well, literally any of the bases or locations the Resistance had holed up at for a time.

"Huh, this is... definitely a lot nicer than anything I've seen in a long time." Or ever, really.

For a moment he looked at Poe, studying him before nodding. "I designed the room myself. One of the only...comforts I really allowed for a very long time. Hux tends to try and say that it isn't...enough since I'm now supreme leader, but I like it. And I think he's only saying that because he wants me to make him Grand Marshall." He explained before moving around the room. He found something else for Poe to wear. Something that was clean and likely more comfortable before setting it down on the table next to the couch. "The fresher is through there. If you wish to shower. There are holovids and well, you can surely find a way to entertain yourself while I am gone explaining this and giving orders to Hux. I need to let the ship know you are here and not to be bothered just as I did those men."

He brushed his fingers through his hair before finally moving closer to Poe, careful as he tilted his head. He had never truly expected the man to come with him. Well, maybe a little, but he hadn't thought Poe actually would and yet here he is. He felt something different through their bond, something he had thought he'd felt with Rey, but it had turned out to be false. It warmed him. "Is there anything you need or...want?"

"Who cares what Hux thinks. It's your space, it should be how you want it." The remark came easily, but then, deriding Hux came pretty damn easily. It had before the two of them started conversing across their connection, and now even more so. Poe couldn't say he was looking forward to seeing Hux face to face, but he'd deal with it when the time came.

After he was finished with the initial glance around his gaze sought the other man out and he nodded slightly at the mention of what Kylo needed to do. "Of course, I understand. I mean, I do have a little familiarity with all that." Poe replied, cracking a brief sideways grin. A small sign that he was calming down now that he was away from all the goings-on of the ship for the time being.

At the question Poe shook his head a little. "Nah, I'm fine. I'll just... make myself at home, I guess." It was just a lighthearted comment to try and cut through the seriousness of everything, but it still felt a little strange to say. Now that he was calming he was also more aware of their bond, and he picked up slightly on that borderline disbelief. Without really thinking about it he reached out to lightly put a hand on Kylo's arm. "I'll be fine, really. I'm not gonna go anywhere while you're gone. Take care of what you need to, I'll be here."

He looked at the hand for a moment before covering it with his own. "If anything changes, reach out to me. If you need anything or don't feel comfortable being here alone anymore." He said insistently, tilting his head. "Promise me." He murmured quietly. He knew Poe wouldn't leave. He could feel that much but he still couldn't help wanting the reassurance that he would reach out for him if he needed to. He honestly didn't want to leave either, but he knew he must.

There was a soft smile on his face finally, feeling more at peace than he had in a very long time. He wasn't alone. "I will return quickly."

Poe nodded, but he could sense the need for reassurance -- he didn't need their bond for that, he'd always had a way of knowing when those around him needed a pep talk or some other form of assurance. "I promise. If I need to, I'll reach out." he replied, giving Kylo's arm a gentle squeeze and cracking a smile. And he would. For as much as Poe had a tendency to try and deal with things on his own, he had also come to realize that he couldn't always do that. This was definitely a situation where if a problem or issue arose, he needed to make it known.

"Like I said, handle what you need to. I'm not going anywhere." He might end up roaming the space a little but he wouldn't leave it. For now it was relative safety and they both knew he needed that for the time being. As it was, Poe suspected it might be a little while before he felt comfortable going anywhere without Kylo near.

Finally Ren nodded, pulling away and heading for the door. He stepped out of his quarters, listening to the door slide closed behind him, almost silently though not quite. It was how he preferred it. Once he had left he straightened himself, face going blank as he made his way to the bridge.

It only took a couple of hours but when he came back he looked angry. More so than normal honestly. He walked into the room, seething as the door closed and he made sure it was locked behind him. His fingers twitched at his side like he wanted to grab his lightsaber and destroy something, but he restrained himself if for no other reason than he didn't want to startle Poe.

Once he was left alone he walked through the space, taking a good look around. The aesthetic was certainly different from anything he was used to. Not bad, just different. A change. He'd get used to it, he supposed. Kind of had to.

Poe shook his head at that line of thinking. Maybe a shower would help clear his mind, he felt like he needed it after all that had taken place this day. As he shrugged off his jacket he realized he still had his communicator on him. After a moment's hesitation he checked and found there were several messages from his friends, mostly panicked and worried sounding. Feeling a sharp pang of guilt, he sent a call to Finn, knowing he needed to pass on some kind of message.

"Hey, it's -- yeah, it's me. Look... no no, just listen, okay? I'm fine, I just -- will you listen? Please?" He ran his free hand through his hair at the worry so plain on the other end of the call. One day his friends would understand. One day. "I arranged a cease fire, probably only temporary but you guys need to get somewhere safe. Get Leia somewhere safe. ... Yeah I know what it looked like but... No, no one's been in my head. This is me. Totally me right now. ... Yes, it's crazy, but crazy is what I do." Poe cracked a smile despite the tension he was feeling. "I need you guys not to worry about me. Seriously. Focus on Leia. Keeping her safe is all that matters. You and Rey need to look after Leia. Promise me you will, no matter what. ... Thank you. ... And have everyone change their comm channels after this call, just to be safe."

"I need to go, just... just look after Leia and take care of yourselves. Tell her... tell her I did this for her, and to protect the Resistance." And for himself.

After another minute or two he ended the call and dropped his communicator on the floor, breaking it under his boot before he could change his mind. Fuck, that was harder than he thought it would be. Rubbing his hands over his face, he went to take a shower, knowing he needed it now more than anything. Not so much to get clean but to try and clear his head, to wash away the guilt over feeling like he was abandoning his friends and wondering if he made the right decision.

Deep down he knew it was the right decision for him. Maybe it was a little messed up but, well, he'd often felt that way since his torture. It had changed him in more ways than one.

When he got redressed he mostly threw on his own clothes out of habit, though he put on the clean shirt under his jacket. And while Poe had intended to find something to occupy himself with, the hot shower and all the stress caught up to him. He ended up stretching out on the couch and drifting into a thankfully dreamless light slumber.

Poe was yet asleep when Kylo returned, an arm curled under his head and the other across his chest. It didn't take long for him to stir though, subconsciously picking up on the other man's agitated energy. He covered a yawn and slowly blinked away sleep, at least until his eyes landed on Kylo. "Everything okay?" he drowsily asked, rubbing one hand over his face as he tried to force himself to wake up quickly, and the other hand pushing him up to a sitting position.

He stopped when he saw Poe asleep on the couch, tilting his head and staring for a long moment. He cleared his throat, moving closer as the man stirred before he frowned again. "No. General Hux is a thorn in my side, but I dealt with the situation and with him. He knows you will be on the ship and that you are studying under me. While not happy about it, he also knows that if anything happens to you that he will be the first to pay for it." He couldn't help but smile slightly as he moved closer. "You are still tired. This had been a very emotional day."

He'd looked away and noticed the pieces of the communicator, walking to them and picking a few up. "What is...you still had your communicator." He stated carefully, looking at Poe. "You could have escaped. You could have called your friends to come get you, but you destroyed it." Of course, technically, Poe had come willingly. Yes, Ren had given him a decision to make regarding it. The Resistance or Poe, but this could have been his chance to leave had he truly wanted to.

The mention of Hux definitely helped to wake him up. A reminder of where he was, what -- and who -- he would now have to deal with. Poe frowned a little as he listened, somewhat feeling like there was more to it than how simple Kylo made it sound. "He's going to be a constant problem, isn't he?" Call it a hunch, mixed with Poe's own experiences in the military. Even without his prior antagonizing of Hux they were unlikely to get along. That said, he would make an effort not to make things worse than they had to be. At least, he would try.

Combing his fingers through his hair to tame it down, his mind shifted gears when Kylo noticed the small mess he had forgotten to clean up. "Yeah, didn't realize I did." he replied, lightly shrugging a shoulder as if it were nothing. He wasn't sure what to make of the look Kylo gave him. "I just let them know a cease fire was arranged. Told Finn and Rey to look after Leia and keep her safe. That keeping her safe was what mattered. And I told them not to worry about me, that it was my decision." It would have been easy to paint otherwise but Poe had no reason to. Almost more than that, he didn't want his friends thinking that he'd been forced into this. A rumor was inevitable of course, that he'd been mind tricked into going with Kylo or something similar, but such a rumor wouldn't start with him.

"That was all that really needed to be said so afterward I broke it. I don't need it anymore." he added as he looked up at Kylo. He wasn't going back to the Resistance. He knew that the moment he took the other man's hand.

"He will try to be, but I will handle him. He isn't happy you're here and he thinks that you will betray me. I've tried to explain that I know you won't, but until you have proven yourself he isn't going to believe it." He said, exasperation obvious on his face. "Not that I need you to prove anything. I would feel it were you not true. It would be obvious through our bond."

He bent down, picking up the broken pieces as he listened to Poe, nodding at his words, though still somewhat awed. At the mention of his mother, he pushed his fingers through his hair and sighed, body tense as he turned and moved to a window that looked out to the stars. "So long as they do that, there will be no problem, but you know this war isn't over, Poe." He said, turning his head to stare at the man, turning to move back to him. He sat on the couch beside him hesitantly, clearing his throat. "Eventually we will go after them again. The best thing your friends can do for Leia now is to take her somewhere far away from the Resistance. Far away from the fighting and we both know she is too stubborn to ever allow it. She will die fighting." Even if that was the last thing he wanted for her.

He threw the pieces of the communicator away, setting back on the couch more as he continued to look at him. "You'll have a few days before we start training. Time for you to adjust, to feel more...comfortable. Or as comfortable as you can be here, but you'll be right next door. You will be the only one on this ship to have full access to my quarters in case you need me."

"I know." he replied quietly, almost reluctantly, as he listened and watched the other man move around the room before finally coming to join him on the couch. Poe knew the cease fire was just that; a temporary stop, not an end. There were too many on both sides that wouldn't be happy until the other was destroyed. Perhaps that was where some of his discontent had risen from as well. He had joined the cause because he believed in it and he believed in Leia. While he still believed in Leia, there had been days he wondered if some of the others had forgotten what they were supposed to be fighting for in the first place.

Running his hands through his hair, Poe sighed. "I don't really want to think about that. Not right now." It was selfish but true. As it was, it had yet to occur to him that there could be some point down the line where he might have to fight against Resistance allies. "And she might, your mother might at least concede to not being on the front lines, so to speak. She knows that she's the spark of hope for a lot of people." He knew what Kylo said was more likely to become the eventual reality but Poe could still hope that it wouldn't be. He could hope for the best, as he so often did.

Poe couldn't help but chuckle dryly at the next subject. "Comfortable... yeah, that might take a little bit." He shifted on the couch so he could more easily look at Kylo as they talked. And he had to admit it didn't feel as strange as he thought it might, but then, they'd been conversing across their shared connection for awhile now. The only difference now was that it was actually happening in person. "This is going to be a hell of a lot to adjust to, I'm not gonna lie. I'm sure I will, don't get me wrong, but it's a pretty radical change for me."

"I don't expect you to feel comfortable here...yet, anyways. But I can promise you that beyond our training, no harm will come to you. I can't promise that for training. We are going to be sparring after all." He smiled lightly, watching him. "You just take the time you need. You have me here to help you."

His fingers pushed through his hair slowly, eyes locked on Poe's for a long moment before pulling away, blushing a bit and looking away.

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scene with ~nolongerbensolo

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